How to discuss problems together?
Many psychologists advice if there is a problem in your relationships, it shouldn't be suppressed but should be discussed.
Slugging it out does not necessarily means scandal, though it often happens so. But scandals are useful at times. A good scandal with smashing dishes in some cases produces rather a positive effect on relationships, though it can rarely settle all problems. But a conversation, which (as you thought) must clarify something, can clarify that, but only at the cost of deteriorating relations that you were trying to improve.
We use the gift of speech to the fullest max. We even abuse it talking claptrap for hours. The bad thing is that the gift of speech has deprived us of a heap of other abilities, because some trifles in our behaviour might tell us about a person much more than a three-hour monologue. But women are known to love by ears, and they also do everything else by ears. They believe words more than their own intuition or tacit deeds of their men. A squire of dames praising their unimaginable dignities is much more than a man who has just handed them the whole world. The woman believes that it is better to ask than to think. And this they call having it out.
Women prepare for an argument in advance. Carefully considering when to begin the talk they always begin it out of season. Woman can call his man to find out what sex of their child he would prefer exactly when he is busy with prevents a world war or makes at an attractive secretary. It makes no sense to try to find out something purely personal when a man is hungry, when he falls asleep, is in a hurry or when he lies on the sofa watching TV when working or when making nothing. In any of these moments it is not a good idea to approach him with the question: "Do you not think that our relations are deadlocked? What do you think?" Unexpected surprise can frighten a man because he is not ready to talk over this topic. A man, however, is rarely ready for such talks. As a rule, all men hate discussing relationships, because all afraid to discuss problems. A man who likes such talks either has plagued the life out of the woman already or is a bore from birth.
And one more thing: to ask men their attitudes towards global issues is senseless, because the answer is unknown to men themselves. They think that they do not want to marry, and then it turns out that they wanted it all their lives. Men sure hate babies, and then try to drag them aside away from their beloved crumbs. Men think that they want a son, and actually take care of their daughters tenderly.
